How To Date Multiple Ladies At Once

Dating your yoga instructor, commute-shell, Tinder-bae and that guy/gal yous merely met at the bar may sound like fun simply it's actually a logistical nightmare. Plus, if you don't communicate like an overblown Ted talker then some feelings are bound to become hurt — yours included. And whilst about of usa consider ourselves lucky to attract the interest of iromantic party (let alone multiple), this just means that if and when the situation arises, we are woefully unprepared.

Enter: Reddit's latest AskMen masterpiece: "New to dating. What's the etiquette on dating multiple women at once?" In this thread, the internet forum'due south 1.i million-strong community weigh in — upvoting and downvoting the smartest responses — to bring us the ultimate guide to dating multiple people at once.

At what point are yous assumed exclusive? When should you ask if they are seeing other people? How do you tell a long lusted after friend that you only don't recall information technology'due south going to work? Wonder no more: this is the etiquette to getting freaky without getting freaked out on.

"Essentially, I've been on a 1st date with 2 different women. They both went very well. I know this may seem like a stupid question to some of you lot, only can I date them both for now? Obviously after 1 appointment it's nothing serious, but I've genuinely never been in this position and don't desire to f*ck upwardly haha."

This is the question that started the debate. The internet's answers are below.

Information technology'south Fine To Be 'Seeing' Multiple People At In one case

I Redditor sums it upward perfectly: "If exclusivity hasn't been discussed, it's generally okay to be dating multiple people… upwardly until a certain point. For example, if you're just like a few dates in with the girls yous're talking to, then no harm no foul (the girls are probably talking to other guys also)."

"A surprising corporeality of girls will be okay with you talking to other girls in the early stages."

Merely You Shouldn't 'Seriously Date' Multiple Partners At One time (Unless They Know About It)

"HOWEVER," the same Redditor continued, "If you're doing 'coupley' things with a girl like staying the night, spending extended periods of fourth dimension together, meeting her friends, etc then you lot should either finish talking to the other girls or make it very clear that you're talking to other people."

"I know some people like to use the excuse of 'B-just we didn't concur to exist exclusive! It'due south non my fault I was f*cking other people fifty-fifty though we were spending 4 nights a week together, belongings hands in public, and basically acting similar a couple!' — information technology's best to be transparent and non lead other people on."

If your partner is fine with you 'seriously dating' (or 'seeing') someone else at the same time that the two of you are 'seriously dating' then great: but you have to give them the chance to make that decision for themselves.

Transparency Is Your Friend

"Some people really do use it as an alibi to stretch boundaries," another commenter added. "Information technology'south almost expected to be talking to multiple people early, merely at a certain point relationships require communication and transparency."

"Lying by omission is nonetheless lying."

In The Finish, Information technology'south All About Context — & Your Gut

Hemingway once said, "So far, about morals, I know but that what is moral is what you feel good later and what is immoral is what you lot feel bad after." So trust your conscience, and fifty-fifty if you tin can 'technically' justify something to yourself, if you're conscience pings, information technology's probably not kosher afterward all…

Or, as i commenter puts information technology, in that location is "a certain line of no return (having sexual practice, dating constantly for more than two weeks, etc…) that I would let the other know that I was going to pursue the other person."

But of course, you accept to weight this up with the fact that, when yous are using things like tinder, dates are incredibly hit and miss and everyone is hedging their bets a little. And then — essentially — if you recall you might really intendance nigh someone, or have striking information technology off with them, it's probably best not to start seeing their best friend on the side…

"Obviously, it's not 'cheating' because you aren't together, but emotionally if I was dating a guy and things were progressing groovy, then I observe out he has been seeing someone else too… it would feel like a betrayal, so I'd rather be honest nigh what I want than become upset past behaviour that to them was no big deal."